Lots of revelations over the past year and a half, two years. Many of them political. Let's just say, my eyes have really been opened to the reality that you can give your entire life to politics in some places and you'll never get anything back. Some of you may say, "Really? It took you this long to figure that out?" but I enjoyed many years of political work in Ohio where I felt like I gave a lot to politics and I got a great deal in return - satisfaction, knowledge, and the ability to build my future. I also made friends. I received none of that while working on campaigns in NH. It's all very different here, mainly because politics here is very cliquey and there's this huge cabal of individuals who always stick together and it's extremely difficult to penetrate the inner circle. Every time I go to a political event here (really rare now) I feel like everyone is a backstabber and that I can't trust anyone. Truth be told, I am more experienced and knowledgeable than many of them, having been politically "raised" in Ohio... but they're all so blind that they would never see that. They all just kind of was each others' hands and keep helping each other out, regardless of a lack of qualifications. Many of them have miserable personalities and mistreat each other, but keep advancing because they have a "friend in a high place" or whatnot.
I finally got out after I was given a huge favor by the presidential campaign I was working on. It was my most recent campaign, and will also probably be my last really active campaign. They had me schlep 2 1/2 hours to tell me my job was being "restructured" and that they no longer needed me. Fine with me, to be honest. I was losing my passion for the candidate after being a huge fan of his in 2008 once I noticed he was going to be a wet-noodle moderate. I had vehemently pursued a job with the campaign and was among the first staffers to be hired, then they tossed me aside without a thought. This campaign really showed little regard for the safety or the feelings of the people working for them. I also noticed rather quickly that they were not the kinds of people I enjoyed working with, one person in particular, who seemed to take glee in being rude and nasty to me. It's my opinion that the people who work for a candidate are direct representatives of the candidate. That's another reason why I've come to lose a lot of respect for this candidate. It's a combination of ideology and personal feelings about the candidate and the kind of campaign he's running that I would actually consider voting for a 3rd party candidate before I would ever vote for this individual. I won't say his name, but consider some of the facts I've provided, one in particular, and you'll get who I'm talking about.
Prior to working on that campaign, I worked on a congressional campaign here in NH. I started out working on the campaign to get my juices going again. I was feeling so hopeless, living in a state where I knew no one and was going nowhere, and I missed all my friends and everything that was familiar to me. So I thought the best way to find some familiarity would be to get back into politics. Turns out, I was right. Of course, once again I was 2 1/2 hours away from the campaign headquarters and was doing everything by distance, but I was able to connect with the local political organizations, meet more local activists, and make some "friends" (I put "friends" in quotes because, really, how much are political acquaintances ever really "friends"?). Door-to-door, one of my favorite activities, is actually a nightmare in northern NH, but I did it anyway. All by myself, because I couldn't get anyone to help me with it. My parents helped me all the time, and a few other people helped me once or twice. That's it. My Dad was always putting out yard signs, and my Mom went out with him a lot, too. My family was the campaign structure for the entire northern part of this candidate's "north country" operation. Primary night came along. Candidate won. He told me how impressed he was with my resume and all the work I was doing, and that "if we win this, you're in." I put even more work in, because I saw it as my chance to get out of here. Worked my ass off, really. For 6 months of work, I got a check for $1100 that basically covered my expenses and a bonus for winning my county. Election night came along. Candidate won. I was elated, because I was starting to pack and move to Washington, or at least Manchester, in my head. That night, in the party suite on the top floor of the hotel, candidate once again tells me he'd be in touch with me that week. Three times. Guess what? I never heard from him. I hounded various members of his campaign staff about when they'd be making staff decisions, and kept being blown off. Everyone kept saying they'd be in touch. Nothing. Finally, I had to read in the paper that he had named his staff. Wouldn't you know, he picked a bunch of 25 year olds to take to DC with him. Over someone a few years older who had already worked in DC and had a Masters degree. Can you understand why I'd be offended? I guess the worst offense is that a couple of times after that, I was contacted and told "they might have something" for me. It was always an empty promise. I just don't trust the guy, or anyone who works for him. I haven't hesitated to tell a lot of people about my now-congressman and what he and his staff have done. It's also my understanding that he told a lot of other people that they would have jobs, too. I guess that's how he got everyone to do his campaign work for him. Really nice. Furthermore, he has one really jerky guy working for him (I won't say in what capacity) who INSISTS the congressman never promised me a job, because "he can't do that". You know what? I'm not a moron. I know what he did, and so does my Dad, because he was there every time the guy made one of his comments. I won't vote for a Democrat, but I'm certainly not casting a vote for this guy in 2012. Nor is anyone in my family doing an ounce of work for him. People like this just don't deserve it. It's not that I didn't get a job. It's that he's a liar and so are members of his staff. They are blatantly deceitful. Frankly, I feel no different with him as a Congressman than I did with his predecessor, who was a Democrat.
I don't mean to say that one of those episodes really bothered me more than the other. Both of them really, really bothered me, and they ended up turning a dedicated, intelligent conservative activist into an embittered individual who doubts her own party. NH politics are, undoubtedly, really perverted and different than they were in Ohio. If I went back to Ohio, I would give organized politics another shot. But never again in this state, where everyone is always stabbing everyone in the back, and these political amateurs know nothing about political professionalism.
So, for now, I'm an armchair political activist, sharing my thoughts on twitter and facebook. This state isn't worth my hard work. Hell, I just had surgery for an achilles tendon problem I have had for 2 years that was merely inflamed by the work I did on the congressional campaign. Do you think it was worth it? Absolutely not. I wish I could turn back time and tell him to do it himself and save myself some pain and probably some worsening of my condition.
Revelations.
